Hey, Fat Girl!
This past weekend Sam and I had a bunch of plans and were going to be running around my ‘hood. Before our busy day we decided to have brunch and as we were waiting for our meal, I was going on about a vestido I wanted to wear.
“I need to lose 15 pounds before I can wear that dress,” I sighed as I sipped my Bloody Mary.
“Well, why don’t we lose weight together?” offered Sam.
I dropped my mouth in shock. I couldn’t believe that he had suggested that I lose weight.
“Um, I’m not hungry anymore,” I mumbled and looked away.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked, confused.
“Look, don’t ever suggest that I lose weight. Don’t go there. You’re telling me that I don’t look good they way I am right now? That’s not cool,” I said through clenched teeth.
“You always look beautiful,” he insisted.
If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you know that I’m horrified of my fat rolls. And Sam is well aware of this insecurity too.
After thirty minutes of discussing his comment, we made up and even took cute pics during brunch, see:
OK, so now fast forward a few days…chicas, first things first, I haven’t been totally honest with you and now is the time for full disclosure: Sam works for the same radio station that I do.
So, I was listening to the station when I heard him discuss our conversation at brunch. People called in to take sides on the matter. Some people claimed I was fishing for a compliment while others thought that Sam was idiot (point Lex!). He also talked about my weight for great lengths .
“She’s tiny,” he said on air to the thousands of people listening in. This really pissed me off, mainly because I am NOT tiny. If you’ve ever met me, you would probably never even venture to call me petite. I’m disgusted that he would lie about my size on air. Is he ashamed of my curvy cuerpo?
Another thing that annoys me: I don’t care if Sam talks about me in blogs, on radio shows or TV. What upset me was that he discussed me at while at the company where we both work. I feel like he took it too far. Why can’t he talk about me on a website or anywhere else like I do? Am I overreacting here or do I have a good reason to be upset?
Un Abrazo Fuerte,
Lex
Too fuuny. You know guys don’t think about the weight the same ways females do, most of the time. It seems more like he was just trying to support you in what he thought was going to be your big venture to lose some weight. I really don’t think he was playing or even considering your insecurity (his fault he didn’t think it was that way) but you can’t blow up over something as trivial as that. You seem like you are supper honest w/ him did you explain to him that when it comes to your weight all he has to do is nod and smile? As for putting it out there on the radio he probably sees it the same way you do here on the website. To him you may seem too tiny to worry about rolls or jiggling or any of that because you really do not look close to needing to lose weight from any of your pictures. Remember you can’t let your insecurities f up your thinking. Embrace the hottie you are inside and out.
I think you’re overreacting. He saw that you were about to do something difficult, and he offered to go on the journey with you. Trust me, I’ve recently lost 30 pounds, and it’s hard when you don’t have someone doesn’t understand how hard it is and what you’re going through. I have A LOT of body issues, I’m still overweight. He’s just trying to support you in your endeavor.
Plus, I think he called you tiny because you got so mad at him last time. To me, it isn’t like he said you need to lose 50 pounds because you’re fat. If you don’t like talking about the subject, I don’t think you should bring it up. Since he pursued you, he obviously believes you’re beautiful. Just be secure in yourself, know that he loves you and you have something special.
BUT, about talking about what happens between you guys & him talking about it on the radio show for the company you both work at, I understand where you are coming from. I try to keep my personal life and professional life separate. If this is the first time this has happened in your relationship, sit him down, have a nice calm talk with him, and tell him why you don’t like that and agree to something. You’re probably going to encounter a lot of things like this in your growing relationship.
um, and P.S. You don’t look overweight. Even though we’ve only seen your head in your pics, I OBVIOUSLY look like I need to lose a couple pounds if you just see my head. I think you’re fine from what I can see. Who likes a stick whose so skinny you could see her spine? (I know people like this). That ISN’T sexy.
Lex,
I gotta agree with the previous comments. Although I see where you are coming from also. I think he was just trying to be supportive. Not bash your image or your weight. I tried to change my eating habbits on my own while my family kept to the old eating routine and that was the most difficult thing to do. I didnt have anyone to support me through the difficulties. Dont be so hard on him. And to be honest if he thought you were fat he wouldnt be with you. With guys having three women to every man, I am sure that if he thought you were unattractive due to your weight or size he would be gone. You beautiful and NOT FAT at all. Remember REAL WOMEN have curves. You need to learn to embrase your womanly body. Flaw and all. NO ONE is perfect!
As for him talking about your spat on the air, he was just trying to see if he was alone in the situation. He needed feedback. Men often do that to see if they are really wrong or right about an argument. I dont think he was trying to be mean. And like you said most people argreed with you!
I see what you mean about you two working at the same radio station and people knowing about your situation etc. But i say talk to him about it. That way he knows you would prefer not be talked about on the radio especially since you two work together.
I hope that helps….. But in the end go with what your heart tells you. AND STOP BEING SO HARD on yourself!
~L
Hi. I just want to comment how I love how u can express your self in such a vivid way, I always laugh when reading your stories, the way you can write is amazing. I envy that in a good way because I prefer numbers……I visit the web site daily just to check your new blog….About the topic though, I would react the same way you did, we Latinas are a bit dramatic…and oh well……
in the words of my man, “Hey I know my girlfriend is in there. I’m not sure where she is but I’m sure she will come out when the irrational girl in front of me goes away!”
It’s hard enough looking at ourselves dissecting every bone in our body, but then to have the person we are with noticing it too. So yes, I am positive he didn’t mean anything bad about it. We have to understand as women that we don’t look as skewed as we think, but that is easier said than done. Sam is with you and in his own way he is trying to help, as misguided as it is. I do think you both need to have a talk about where it is okay to discuss your relationship. You can get into some stickey territory if you don’t.
p.s. i think you look great!
OMG! I am totally appreciating all your comments. Who needs a shrink when I have you guys? LOL. Thank you so much…anyone else have more insights?! I love reading them all. And Giovanna – I’m so happy you enjoy my blog. Sometimes I freak out that I’m sharing too much info but I gotta keep it real. And you’re right – Latinas tend to be more dramatic than other mujeres!!!!!
You’re a classic over sharer! You talk smack about everyone and everything then can’t take it when the tables turn.
AND you’re boyfriend didn’t suggest that you lose weight, you did by saying that you needed to lose 15 pounds. Take it easy on him or you may lose him- instead of the weight.
“Jennie”
I definitely share my stories but that’s one of the reasons I’m a writer – to tell stories about myself and others. Duh.
And I can take criticism – trust me I’ve been called some negative things in the past but it’s the delivery of how things are said – my boyfriend could’ve used more tact and not discuss our bizness on a radio channel we both work for. Again, DUH.
I think there’s a difference between talking smack and venting. Lex obviously is extremely expressive and she’s honest about how she feels, at least she doesn’t talk behind people’s backs. We know how Chismosa we can be.
anyways Lex maybe your boyfriend just wanted to start working out and losing weight and having you around would be extra motivation. Don’t over analyze his comments, men OBVIOUSLY do not have the same thought process as WOMEN.
Look, If you (Lex) truely believed that you were 15lbs over the “required weight limit” to wear the described dress you would not have made the purchase in the first place which leads to believe, you liked what you saw in the mirror. Declaring the “need” to lose the wieght does leave an open door for support. Sam was in turn supporting you by implying that he would support your decision for a healthier life style, in no way implying you were beyond your curves unattractive.
Take it from a Latina who went to the lengths of “perfecting” her “imperfections” and ended up in the hospital with Gangrene (a flesh eating infection). Needless to say, I lost a lot more than I asked for…
Embrace your curves.. I miss mine…
[…] and feel the need to know my friend’s biz. Another reason my status updating is such a big deal? As you all know now, I work for the same company as Sam. I’m assuming most of our coworkers know about us by now, but […]
I think you handled the situation well. I mean I guy should know to never get into a discussion about weight with some women. Personally, I dont care but for some women its a sensitive subject.
At least you quickly got over it and didnt give him silent treatment for the rest of the day.
How is what you’re doing on the blog any different than what he is doing on the radio station? Don’t people at work know that you write for Latina? Don’t you think they read this too? At least on the radio, if you miss the show that day you don’t know what happend. This stuff gets passed around to everyone at the office and it’s permanetn! So to answer my own question, what you’re doing, publishing the intimate details of your relationship for everyone to read is so much worse than what he did! Did you ask his permission to write all this stuff on the blog? It seems to me you want to have it only your way and are totally unwilling to compromise. If you want to write about your relationahip and ask advice online than he should be able to do the same on the radio.
Think positive. Life is 2short.
BUT aren’t you kind of doing the same about other people on this site. Granted you are not invading their space, where he did. :)…tomalo con paciencia
I would like to see apic of you Lex. Me personally, I love BBW’s! Always have always will!
LEX! No ves?? Sam was being very nice to you!! Extremely! He saw that you wanted to do something about your weight, of which he soo obviously thinks you are PERFECT, so he offered his company and support. It shouldn’t be something to take a pecho, he just offered you help, mamita!
However, about him discussing it at work, noooooo! You should talk, note: TALK, to him abut it, and tell him you’re incomoda, (sorry, if i forget my english, i switch to spanish) about him bringing in your love life into the work life. Especially over the radio… NO NO NO.
Ummmm, hellllooooo???!!! You said:
“I need to lose 15 pounds before I can wear that dress,”
and then Sam said: “Well, why don’t we lose weight together?”
which can only mean that he was giving you what YOU WANTED (especially because he knew that you wanted to be able to wear the dress), and was even being nicer, because he cared to offer to accompany you.
So basically you got mad at him for giving him something that you just said you needed (i.e: losing weight)??
GET REAL!!