The Humpty Dumpty Theory
Last night, Sam and I had dinner at the lovely Mermaid Inn. The convo turned to relationships and I asked him if he had ever dumped anyone between slurps of oysters.
“Me? Nah,” replied Sam as he nibbled on crispy clams.
“Que?” I said with exasperation. “You never dumped anyone at all? That means you’re totally going to break up with me one day.”
Sam gave me an odd look, “Alexis, what the hell are you talking about?”
“You have to dump and get dumped to come full circle in relationships,” I explained. “Until last year, I always broke up with guys. Then some dude broke up with me so now I have the 365 degree experience.”
“Yeah, I’ve always been the dumpee,” he mumbled.
“It’s like when people only have had sex with five or less partners, they’re always bitter that they didn’t sleep with more people. Didn’t you ever notice that? You need to sew those wild oats to feel fulfilled just like you need to break hearts and have your heart broken,” I said.
“Well, I’ve slept with more than five girls,” scoffed Sam.
“But you haven’t dumped anyone!” I said with a worried look on my face.
***
The next morning, I woke up in Sam’s arms and kissed his cheek.
“Hey, I actually broke up with one chick in high school” he said groggily.
I sighed a breath of relief and kissed him again. I dig this guy so much I hope he never dumps me! What do you mujeres think about my dumper/dumpee theory? It’s OK if you think I’m loca ladies, it’s not like it’s scientifically tested but I’m still pretty sure it’s true! Do you agree or think I’m completely off?
Un Abrazo Fuerte,
Lex
I don’t think that you need to have five or more sexual partners to feel fulfilled. I guess it depends on the person, if you’ve only slept with a bunch of people who turned out to be big assholes, or the sex wasn’t fulfilling, I would be bitter too. It all depends on the person and the relationships they’ve been in. That certainly isn’t the case for me.
But about the dumper/dumpee theory, I don’t know. I can see that up to a certain point. I can’t imagine anyone not having done/been both…
I def think everyone is different. I have always dumped guys and the one I am with now when he makes me mad he is like “you better not leave either.” or “if you want a relationship to really work, you stick it out.”
So he has taught me A LOT! Not to mention he is 29 and I am 22 (we have the same bday) but he has a little more experience over me. Lol.
You only know what you have been through yourself, so dont worry about it. Just be happy!
I agree with you, as there is a difference between being dumped versus doing the dumping. Whenever someone broke up with me, I felt very hurt, which is normal, but also learned about compassion for the ‘dumped.’ This compassion was one-sided, whoever did the breaking up, regardless of the reason, was no-good, rotten scum of the earth. The ‘dumped’ were to be treated with tender loving care.
Then I learned a valuable lesson when I had to break up with someone. It hurt deeply to know that my actions caused someone else pain. That was a different type of hurt, a hurt that penetrated my soul. Being the one that inflicts pain on another is not pain free, regardless of the reasons for the breakup.
It made me realize there are no good or bad sides to a breakup.
Rita!!! the nice person who left the comment above this one… how perfect your words are. truly.
i personally, am having one of those days when the last two months of my life have been filled with guy after guy- the first two great guys.. the other 2 not good guys at all. im 21, not much of a dater, and still a V… i’ve always been intimidated by the prospect of giving myself physically to someone who would potientially ruin me emotionally. so i’ve been careful and stayed away for what i thought was good reason. a previous blog was about temptation… and how i have come to know and feel that pain… i wont write a novel here considering this message is about something that stemmed from reading the most recent blogs….. but if RITA (hey there) would not mind listening to a complete stranger who found tremendous feeling and heart behind her message…. i would def appreciate your feedback (i’m not one to shy away from solid advice even from the strangest of sources). i have made my opinions on the best resolution to my issues but they dont seem like the right ones, my gut tells me my lack of experience leaves me lacking something. ebollarsaba@tmail.com…………. hope i hear from you! or anyone with a solid ear :)!