Endless Debate: Career vs. Love
Hola everyone!
I am currently in the motherland – Puerto Rico with my friend James Brown (no, not the James Brown, he’s totally dead). Our flight was like this:
My people were very excited to leave be leaving the island of Manhattan for the much sunnier, more beautiful one of PR! But instead of chilling on the beach, I’m holed up in my hotel room writing a story. I keep staring at the ocean, which makes writing very dificil. Sigh.
I am cansada, I’ve been up for 24 hours, working hard and packing for Puerto Rico!
Since I’ve been working loca hours before my trip, I’ve barely seen Sam. I keep apologizing to him about my heavy workload. I can’t help but think about this question: Would you rather have a fulfilling career or a wonderful partner for the rest of your life?
I was at a party at Hotel Gansevoort and asked this question to my friends. Everyone choose love over his or her career, with the exception of me. To this day, I still feel the same way and I don’t know if that’s effed up.
As much work as I have right now, I love it all. I enjoy writing and sharing my stories with people. I worked hard to get here and I finally feel happy with where I am in my career.
As for love? I’m so lucky and happy that Sam is my boyfriend. I could type thousands of reasons for this but you’ll probably stop reading after #36. I appreciate that he understands my career but sometimes I’m scared that he’ll dump me for a chica who’s less involved with her job.
If I had to look at a crystal ball right now I’d like to see myself continuing to write – eventually, books. I don’t see myself having a family and settling down in the ‘burbs. I totally respect the millions of mujeres out there who have a husband and kids, it’s just something I don’t see foresee in my future right now. Does that make me weird? I don’t want to end up a lonely soltera with 20 gatos! What do you think? Is it possible to balance love with a crazy career?
Un Abrazo Fuerte,
Lex
Funny you ask that particular question because I was wondering this myself this very afternoon. I’ve been at a cabin trapped with two little kids the ages of 3 and 4. Being around them for the fifth day in a row has made me wonder: do I really want kids. When I come home, I want to relax, lay out in the sun, listen to my music and enjoy the peace and quiet. I don’t want screaming kids running up and down the hall- needing my constant love and attention.. However- I’m scared that 20/30 years down the road I might regret it.. <3
I completely understand where you are coming from. I am at the age right now where alot of my friends are starting to settle down, get married, buy houses have Kids so on and so on…….. I do really care to do any of that right now.
I am a Law Student, the area of law I am studing and eventualy want to practice will have me traveling around alot. I don’t want to committ myself to someone when I will be leaving every few months for unknown amounts of time.
I think its ok for Mujeres to want to work on themselves or their careers before starting a family. Men do it all they time and are praised for it. why shouldn’t we??
If Sam is as great as you say he is (I am sure he is) he will understand and I am sure it is one of the things he loves about you.
Go ahead do what u like, once u attached urslf 2 some1 there goes ur freedom. You will not have time 2 do ur writing and if dis is ur pleasure and what u like, hey go for it. u hav d support of Sam. U r very lucky. Th bst for u
omg, I was just having this conversation with my friend the other day. I am 26, live in NY and am the only one from our group of 8 girlfriends which A) is not married/been married B) does not have any kids and C) currently have any interested in either of these prospects. To my some of my friends and even my family I’m a lost cause, “a vestirse de santos” they says but I am in a completely different game now then it was before ‘82. I love them all- but I am not going to be pressured into committing to anything or anyone when I know that I am not 100% ready for it. And let me tell you… this is just not my time.
I moved across the country to pursue my dream career, that is my baby for now– and when it is flourished and grown maybe then I can concentrate on making any other types of babies (if I want too). Work hard & Play Hard and call me selfish–> but keep giving us good things to read about. Do everything your heart desires because at the end of the day I assure you that your man, babies, house with a picket fence and large closet to hold all your designer shoes are going to be there with open arms and full of support for EVERYTHING you have chosen to do in your life. Trust!
Aye Nena!
You are not crazy or wierd. Its okay to feel the way you do and it is possible to manage your career and love life, but you have to make sure you are very good at time management lol.
You dont have to have the house or the kids to be happy either. As long as you love yourself and the people around you then you will be okay. And if Sam really wants to be with you he will understand that sometimes you will be busier than usual. It comes with the territory.
Keep working and keep loving…always remember…
“The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.”
Ciao’
AW Crystal I love your quote about God. And thanks ladies for undertanding where I’m coming from…I think being Latina, sometimes there’s still that pressure to get married and pump out kids. Glad we’re all following our dreams. Much amor chicas!
I think we all have to find the balance of our dreams & desires. Sometimes love can be so incredible that it blinds you & can make you forget how hard you work toward your dreams/goals. While the love is hot this feeling may be great like a warm drink on a chilly day-you know lip smacking delicious, but seasons change and after the love becomes part of your routine you’ll always want to have the path you worked so hard to build your career upon available to you. So there must be balance to keep both. It’s hard for us ladies, but the right man will appreciate a woman with goals because he has goals too. The idea is to find a partner in life to support you in achieving your goals & for us to also support our men in achieving theirs.
[…] heart hurts so much. Rather than getting some much needed rest and relaxation in Puerto Rico, I wound up losing the one thing more important to me than anything else in the […]
Hello Ladies,
Thanks for sharing your stories. I am a mom myself, single mom. Got married in my late twenties.. I was married and in love, but season do change, as well as people. Sometimes you really get to know people when the pressure is on. Some people when the rought time comes, the tough gets going, but some get running..
Having a family is huge responsibility. Family is priority. I must say though, being a single mom, you are ostricized in many ways from family, society and even friends, but it has made me the strongest I have ever been in my life, because their is no else to depend on in the end. There are blessings in struggles. Sometimes, you can’t plan everything in your life, and sometimes you will never be 100% sure. Life is full of moments, and in these moments some miraculous things can and will happen.
I have learned to flow and balance. Try not to be so ridgid..its good to be flexible and aware of the unexpected and always prepared.
Namaste