Eternally Single?
No one wants to die alone. It’s everyone’s biggest fear, right? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately because of a recent run-in I had with an old amiga.The other day I bumped into “Still Single Simone.” We used to work together, which is when I realized that homegirl needs to get her act together or she’s totally going to be a crazy vieja living with 10 cats.
I’m the first to admit that I have volume control issues- I’m Latina for crying out loud! But Simone just takes it to that next level and just doesn’t know how to control herself. At the office, she used to spend all day screeching about everything, with her favorite topic being how much she hated her job.
I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the men that took her on dates. How could they put up with her non-stop senseless chatter? On top of that, Simone is cold, she can talk your ear off but never lets her guard down. I honestly never got the sense that I really knew her.
My sister Roxanna has also always been single. I’ve been the daughter with boyfriends and scandals (like that time I broke a tooth during sex, but that’s a story for another post). The difference is that Roxanna chooses to be soltera. She’s witty, brilliant and very picky about men. I know she’ll meet the right guy one day when she’s ready.
But Simone? I can’t imagine any man wanting to spend the rest of his life with her. Bottom line is that she means well but her whole attitude about life is off-putting.
I want to be Superwoman and save Simone. Someone needs to tell her why she’s eternally single. We’re not that tight so I don’t feel comfortable saying anything, but it makes me sad to think that she’s going continue to be clueless for the rest of her life.
What’s up with women like this? Do you know them too? Have you ever confronted any of them about their behavior? Should I break it down for her or let her stay blissfully ignorant?
Un Abrazo Fuerte,
Lex
Well it depends, do you have a good relationship with her or not? If you don’t then don’t waste you energy worrying about someone who is old enough to make her own decisions. If you have a good relationship then speak away and give her a dose of reality. Many times people don’t realize what they are doing wrong because no one has ever said anything to them about it.
I have a friend who use to abuse me verbally every time she was overwhelmed or frustrated. I never said anything to her until one day she invited me to her Birthday party at a friends house and I told her I was going to take my daughter, my sister and my sisters step daughter. When we showed up I didn’t know anybody and she gave me a look that said “oh no you didn’t bring the kids”. I drove a long distance to get there at 8:30pm. She made a few rude comments about how she didn’t want “crying babies at the party”. The last straw was when she approached me and told me that the party was gonna get crazier at 9:30pm, and she didn’t want the kids around because people were complaining that there were children. I was out of her house by 9pm upset and disillusioned. She didn’t talk to me for a couple of months and we work in the same building at a college campus. Finally she shows up and tries to apologize for what she did and I told her that I needed space from her because I wasn’t feeling the friendship. I told her that she made me feel guilty for being a mother among other things she has made me feel during our friendship. That was the first I stood up for myself and made her see what she did to hurt me.
Never the less if you feel you must say something to this Amiga, then don’t hold back. Follow your heart and if you decide to speak to her, get her point of view first and be honest with her. Who knows, she might appreciate the feed back.
After having come clean about my feelings towards this friend she has had a lot of time on her hands to think about her mistakes and learn from them. We don’t talk much just an occasional hi and bye, but she has revealed to me that my honesty has helped her figure out and change some things in her life.
It might be just what this Amiga needs a dose of reality.
Meshell
I have a good friend like that, she is really desperate to be with someone and just about any guy that cross her, she thinks that they are into her…and she just scares them away with her attitude, speeches,. I feel for bad for her and i have no guts to tell her anything……..
oh-kayyyy! Kudos Lex on trying to be supportive and a good friend. It is hard to be there for someone when you don’t exactly believe in the same things. Nonetheless, you are trying and in the process helping many. Why, does Simone not get the clue? Because with time you have to change and adapt. If man after man is a scumbag to you, then guess what honey maybe you are looking for the wrong guys! If you hate your job, helllloooooo, find a new one and quit complaining to others who might like their job.
I find it very interesting that so many people get down on the dumps when they can’t immediatly find true love. The first person you got to love before you love someone is yourself. When you do that, you find a job that makes you feel good, it may not be your dream job but it will good for your soul. Then you make ammend with you, your fam, and your friends. Heck, you may even buy yourself something nice. The point is to put your “house” in order. You will be exuding confidence before you know it, and the BAMMMM love will bump into you while you, unknowingly, at the supermarket while you get a box of cereal. And if he/she doesn’t then the wait isn’t so bad, because you will have an awesome life, fam, and friends!
Evelyn – you have the right attitude. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. I ended things with a guy a few years ago after he saw a photo of my family and said, “Wow, you guys are all short.” I was like, “Ew! Don’t make fun of my fam! At least I’m close with them unlike you and your family!” Then I asked him if he even liked himself and he couldn’t answer my question so I knew then and there it wasn’t going to work out. We’re still friends though.
And I think Simone really needs to assess her life and how happy she is…you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!!!
Hello ladies, I am a newcomer to this great Latina blog. Lex first of all thanks for starting this up I am really into it now. I am a married Latina female currently living in Los Angeles. Yeah were all the skinny blonde bombshells surround me on a daily basis, and here a curvaceous tan skinned girl that I am, well it can be a bit intimidating. About your blog, I truly feel that women like myself are totally hard to please. As I been married now for 6 years I find myself wanting to be alone at times. Day dreaming about how much I missed out getting married at 19 years old. Especially when I watch any movies like Sex in the City! Then when I watch romantic movies I find myself calling my husband late at night telling him to come home from work damit! LOL I guess a female has to find a medium and either if your alone or not don’t go too long doing either or. Right chicas?
i vote…. do it! whats the worse that will happen… she’ll want to stop being friends with you. like you said, you’ve never felt like you really knew her! so what are you really giving up?? i can say that because my TWIN SISTER is like that. i’ve attributed her behavior to the fact that she hasnt moved out of my dad’s house yet… she still lives at home… so she hasnt gotten a taste of real life and how insignificant we can be. but really, i’ve mentioned it and she heartedly believes she sees my point. how false i find that to be. but what can i say at this point? all i can do is point it out and hope she sees the light.
its the same for this friend. all you can do is put your best foot forward and hope she gets the point. if she’s anything like my sisters, shes selfish. she might not see the other side of what her actions and words do to someone else. there is a strong likelyhood that she wont care what you’re intent is…. but at least you tried. thats all you can hope for. would you rather be her friend and watch her for the rest of her life or risk losing the friendship so she might be able to grow?