America’s Next Top Model: Cycle 10, Episode 1

The bitches are back, my friends. And by bitches, I mean Jay Manuel, Jay Alexander, and the most beautiful tranny of them all, Mizz Tyra Banks. Cycle 10 of America’s Next Top Model kicked off with thirty-five catwalk wannabes whittled down to the thirteen semifinalists that we’ll follow for the next dozen-or-so weeks. But not before Tyra managed to humiliate the thirty-five by enrolling them in “Top Model Prep” and having them dress up in ill-fitting private school uniforms. 

Episode 1 also brings us our first catfight, between Fatima, an Iman look-a-like from Somalia, and Shaya, Mohammed Ali’s niece. Yes, you read that right: skinny, cheek-boney Fatima got all up in the grill of a girl who likely has been taught to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee by the King of the Ring himself. The fight erupts when Fatima calls Shaya and some of the other girls “ghetto.” And I’m not talking ghetto fabulous, more like hood rat. Shaya, naturally, pounces but before she can rearrange Fatima’s face on national television, Fatima pulls the genital mutilation card and tells the gathered models about having had her labia sewn together when she was a child. Okay, she got me with that one. This girl has clearly been through enough without having to deal with Shaya, re-enacting a scene from Flavor of Love in her face. The models agree, and group-hug it out.

Finally, down to the thirteen semifinalists. We tearfully say goodbye to Shaya (side note: I’m a little shocked she didn’t make it and [this girl] did). Then, Tyra gives us our first Dramatic Shock of the season: this cycle, there will be fourteen semifinalists, not thirteen! Woot! Top Model history has been made to accommodate Dominique, the tough-as-nails tranny with a heart of gold. You better not turn out to be another Coryn, Dominique. Just saying.

So far, the girls seem to be a pretty fugly group. Early money is on Fatima to take the title.

-VPT

Trackback URI | Comments RSS