I will now perform a death-defying feat I’ve never tried before: Break into the heads of 86 old-fart foreign journalists and predict their taste in movies of the past year. In other words, welcome to my first ever Golden Globes predictions.

This seems an inauspicious year to begin, being that the only really interesting thing about the Golden Globes is watching the awards show itself (cancelled due to the writers’ strike), in which stars get drunk and table-hop all night, and during which you’re guaranteed at least one funny Hugh Laurie acceptance speech. This year, we’ll have to be content with watching the winners’ announcement at a press conference (which will air at 9 p.m. EST on NBC). Oh well. Here are my predictions:

Best Motion Picture — Drama

The Nominees: “American Gangster,” “Atonement,” “Eastern Promises,” “The Great Debaters,” “Michael Clayton,” “No Country for Old Men,” “There Will Be Blood”

The Winner: “No Country for Old Men.” Can anyone stop the searing modern western, which has won just about every critics-circle type prize out there? Yes—”Atonement”, which led the Globes in nominations (seven) and is the kind of tony epic awards drool over.

Best Motion Picture—Musical or Comedy

The Nominees: “Across the Universe,” “Charlie Wilson’s War,” “Hairspray,” “Juno,” “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”

The Winner: “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.” Part musical, part costume drama, plus a singing Johnny Depp, a perennial worldwide favorite. However, “Juno,” with its rabid word-of-mouth and general acclaim, could steal this.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture —Drama

The Nominees: Cate Blanchett for “Elizabeth: The Golden Age,” Julie Christie for “Away from Her,” Jodie Foster for “The Brave One,” Angelina Jolie for “A Mighty Heart,” Keira Knightley for “Atonement”

The Winner:Angelina Jolie. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association likes to pick big and popular stars in this category and they don’t come any bigger than Angie.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama

The Nominees: George Clooney for “Michael Clayton,” Daniel Day-Lewis for “There Will Be Blood,” James McAvoy for “Atonement,” Viggo Mortensen for “Eastern Promises,” Denzel Washington for “American Gangster”

The Winner: Daniel Day-Lewis. Yes, George Clooney is the bigger star here, but Daniel Day-Lewis’ work in Blood overshadows everything. Only he can make an over-the-top performance intensely watchable. And the HFPA likes quirk.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture-Comedy or Musical

The Nominees: Amy Adams for “Enchanted,” Nikki Blonsky for “Hairspray,” Helena Bonham Carter for “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street,” Marion Cotillard, “La Vie en Rose,” Ellen Page, “Juno”

The Winner: Ellen Page. Frenchie Marion Cotillard looked like a lock for this a few months ago, but the support around “Juno” is reaching critical mass and at the center of it is the young actress who plays the titular snarky teen.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture—Comedy or Musical

The Nominees: Johnny Depp for “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street,” Ryan Gosling for “Lars and the Real Girl,” Tom Hanks for “Charlie Wilson’s War,” Philip Seymour Hoffman for ‘The Savages,” and John C. Reilly for “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story”

The Winner: Johnny Depp. He lives in the South of France, people, and this is the Hollywood Foreign Press Association.

Best Animated Feature Film

Te Nominees: “Bee Movie,” Ratatouille,” “The Simpsons Movie”

The Winner: Alas, spider pig stands no chance. This one belongs to “Ratatouille,” which did massive international box office

Best Foreign Language Film

The Nominees: “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days” (Romania), “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (France and USA), “The Kite Runner” (USA), “Lust, Caution” (Taiwan), “Persepolis” (France)

The Winner: “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.” The power of Julian Schnabel’s, simple, poignant, and beautifully shot story of a paralized man cannot be denied, neither can that of “4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days,” but no one saw that one.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

The nominees are: Cate Blanchett for “I’m Not There,” Julia Roberts for “Charlie Wilson’s War,” Saoirse Ronan for “Atonement,” Amy Ryan for “Gone Baby Gone,” Tila Swinton for “Michael Clayton”

Winner: Cate Blanchett. She’s been called the best of the Dylan incarnations in “I’m not There,” though you can’t rule out the HFPA fawning over big-star Julia Roberts.

Best Performance by an Actor in a supporting Role in a Motion Picture

The Nominees: Casey Affleck for “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford,” Javier Bardem for “No Country for Old Men,” Philip Seymour Hoffman for “Charlie Wilson’s War,” John Travolta for “Hairspray,” Tom Wilkinson for “Michael Clayton”

The Winner: Javier Bardem. Try to stand in the way of our boy Javier and his terrifying, awkwardly funny performance, you get a cow stun gun to the forehead, friend-o.

Best Director—Motion Picture

The Nominees: Tim Burton for “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street,” Ethan Coen and Joel Coen for “No Country for Old Men,” Julian Schnabel for “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly,” Ridley Scott for “American Gangster,” and Joe Wright for “Atonement”

The Winner(s): Ethan and Joel Coen. The bros will squeak by Joe Wright for their beautifully paced and shot instant classic.

Best Screenplay

The Nominees: Diablo Cody for “Juno,” Ethan and Joel Coen for “No Country for Old Men,” Christopher Hampton for “Atonement,” Ronald Harwood for “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly,” Aaron Sorkin for “Charlie Wilson’s War”

The Winner: Ethan and Joel Coean for “No Country for Old Men.” The bros’ adaptation of the violent but sparse Cormac McCarthy book, with a bit of their dark humor thrown in, is poetry.

Best Original Score—Motion Picture

The Nominees: Michael Brook with Kaki King and Eddie Vedder for “Into the Wild,” Clint Eastwood for “Grace is Gone,” Alberto Iglesias for “The Kite Runner,” Dario Marianelli for “Atonement,” Howard Shore for “Eastern Promises”

The Winner: Something tells me the old farts are not into Eddie Vedder’s wailing. Look for them to gratuitously sweeten “Atonement’s” pot of gold with a win here.

Best Original Song—Motion Picture

The Nominees: “Despedida,” (“Love in the Time of Cholera”) Music by Shakira and Antonio Pinto, Lyrics by Shakira, “Grace is Gone,” (“Grace is Gone”) Music by Clint Eastwood, lyrics by Carole Bayer Sager, “Guaranteed,” (“Into the Wild”) Music and lyrics by Eddie Vedder, “That’s How You Know” (“Enchanted”) Music by Alan Menken and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz, “Walk Hard,” (“Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story”) Music and lyrics by Marshall Crenshaw, John C. Reilly, Judd Apatow and Jake Kasdan

The Winner: “That’s How You Know.” Enchanted was a huge hit and the HFPA will reward that success with this consolation prize.

Best Television Series — Drama

The Nominees: “Big Love,” “Damages,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “House,” “Mad Men,” “The Tudors”

The Winner: “Grey’s Anatomy” has high ratings and is still a pop culture touchstone.

Best Television Series—Musical or Comedy

The Nominees: “30 Rock,” “Californication,” “Entourage,” “Extras,” “Pushing Daisies”

The Winner: “30 Rock” It was nominated last year (the same year that Alec Baldwin won for his performance), plus the HFPA likes ride on publicity coattails and since it won an Emmy, look for it to win here.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series—Drama

The Nominees: Patricia Arquette (“Medium”), Glenn Close (“Damages”), Minnie Driver (“The Riches”), Edie Falco (“The Sopranos”), Sally Field (“Brothers and Sisters”), Holly Hunter (“Saving Grace”), Kyra Sedgwick (“The Closer”)

The Winner: Sally Field She plays a quirky matriarch, already beat some of the fellow nominees at the Emmys, and she hates Iraq war which the foreign press will love.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series—Drama

The Nominees: Michael C. Hall (“Dexter”), Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”), Hugh Laurie (“House”), Jonathan Rhys Meyers (“The Tudors”), Bill Paxton (“Big Love”)

The Winner: Jonathan Rhys Meyers will end Hugh Laurie’s two year run. The farts must have new blood!

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series—Comedy or Musical

The Nominees: Christina Applegate (“Samantha Who?”), America Ferrera (“Ugly Betty”), Tina Fey (“30 Rock”), Anna Friel (“Pushing Daisies”), Mary-Louise Parker (“Weeds”)

The Winner: Christina Applegate. She’s riding high on her highly rated TV comeback show.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series—Comedy or Musical

The Nominees: Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”), Steve Carrell (“The Office”), David Duchovny (“Californication”), Ricky Gervais (“Extras”), Lee Pace (“Pushing Daisies”)

The Winner: Ricky Gervais should easily win this based on his galvanizing performance in “Extras” series finale alone.

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Picture

The Nominees: “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee,” “The Company,” “Five Days,” “Longford,” “The State Within”

The Winner: “Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.” It won an Emmy, was nominated for Broadcast Film Critics Award and this is the year of the western. So there.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

The Nominees: Bryce Dallas Howard (“As You Like It”), Debra Messing (“The Starter Wife”), Queen Latifah (“Life Support”), Sissy Spacek (“Pictures of Hollis Woods”), Ruth Wilson (“Jane Eyre”)

The Winner: Bryce Dallas Howard. Because it’s, like, Shakespeare, yo.

Best Performance by an actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

The Nominees: Adam Beach (“Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee”), Ernest Borgnine (“A Grandpa for Christmas”), Jim Broadbent (Longford”), Jason Isaacs (“The State Within”)

The Winner: Jim Broadbent. He looks like a nice guy and is British.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

The Nominees: Rose Byrne (“Damages”), Rachel Griffiths (“Brothers and Sisters”), Katherina Heigl (“Grey’s Anatomy”), Samantha Morton (“Longford”), Anna Pauin (“Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee”), Jaime Pressly (“My Name is Earl”)

The Winner: Katherine Heigl. Raves for “Knocked Up,” and an Emmy. Like it or not, it’s her year. And you better like it, or she’ll burn you with a cigarette butt.

Best Performance Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

The Nominees: Ted Danson (“Damages”), Kevin Dillon (“Entourage”), Jeremy Piven (“Entourage”), Andy Serkis (“Longford”), William Shatner (“Boston Legal”), Donald Sutherland (“Dirty Sexy Money”)
The Winner: Jeremy Piven, or the HFPA will never work in this town again.

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