Ok, so the “Mi TRL Awards aren’t a real ceremony per se, but they’re still a good excuse for MTV Tr3s to throw a party. As such, they’re a good excuse for me to bring out the jaded live-blogger in me and get to hatin’. Heeeeere we go!

3:01 - Any awards show that kicks off with a Snoop Dogg pep talk–complete with Snoop holding up a gold rooster trophy and saying, “El Gallo, say what’s up!”–is ok in my book.

3:03 - Newly minted MTV Tr3s personality Karli Henriquez looks just as ecstatic as I would be to introduce the show’s first presenter, Diddy. Diddy’s outfit gets me thinking: you can really tell what Diddy thinks about the events he’s attending based on how suited up or hooded down he dresses for the occasion. Metallic pinstriped three-piece suit = Grammy VIP crowd. White long-sleeved tee, ginormous red puffer vest and matching kicks = those crazy Latino kids at MTV and their little trophy party.

3:05 - Diddy presents the “They Killed It” Award (which is to say, the award for the artist who gave the hottest live performance on Mi TRL this year. MTV likes “edgy” names for their categories). Please lord, do not give this to LIP*SYNC’ers RBD. I’m cool with Aventura or Wisin y Yandel winning this.

3:06 - WY wins, and they show up not just to accept, but to perform their new single. I’m already doing way better of a job calling these awards than I was with the Latin Grammys.

3:09 - I’ll probably catch a lot of heat for saying this, but does anything else think that Wisin y Yandel’s music is falling off these days? Sure, El Duo Dinámico’s starpower is definitely at its peak, but “Sexy Movimiento” was a semi-boring first single, and this song is not hot at all.

3:10 - MTV Tr3s is trying way too hard with some of these categories. I still don’t understand what the “So You Think You Can Act” award even means.

3:13 - Karli Henriquez? Cute and endearing. Her show, “Karlifornia”? Not cute. Not endearing.

3:17 - Chris Brown doesn’t even try to speak Spanish in his taped congrats video to MiTRL. Pretty boy could stand to gets some bilingual tips from Snoop and Diddy.

3:18 - Jessica Alba wisely tries to make amends with her people by presenting the “Chico of the Year” award…albeit via a taped video. Baby steps, people. We can’t expect a full turnaround overnight!

3:19 - Juanes wins! This dude only wears t-shirts and still looks fine. He announces that he’ll be back to the U.S. in March for a full tour. Sweet.

3:21 - Zuleyka Rivera is so not interesting. She doesn’t even create mock “pepper spray in the gown” scandals like other Puerto Rican beauty queens we know. Bring back WY…please?

3:22 - I still don’t get what this “So You Think You Can Act” category is all about. All I know is that it definitely doesn’t deserve to be a running gimmick throughout this whole show.

3:25 - Diego Luna’s holiday wish: “Please be happy. Have fun, have sex. Enjoy life. Love you.” And I love you, Diego.

3:30 - If anyone cares, the show is halfway over and only one person has showed up to accept an award in person so far. On the plus side, MTV Tr3s is doing a really good job of covering up this sad truth.

3:32 - Will Smith presents the “You Complete Me” award to the guest co-host who did the best job of holding down fellow VJ Carlos Santos. Adrienne Bailon wins, and the crowd seems less than enthused. That’s because they just realized this show is a mostly B-list affair.
3:33 - Adrienne is actually giving a full acceptance speech with thank you’s to her fans, family and fellow Cheetah Girls. It’s almost like she suspects this is the only award she’ll ever get and is taking advantage of the moment. Hmm…

3:35 - Anna Flores, the lucky girl who won a contest to go up and present an award with Carlos, describes what it’s like to be in New York for the first time: “The weather - very holidayish.” Wow.
3:36 - Time for the “Viewer’s Choice Award.” Pleeeease give this to Aventura. I’ll admit it: I’m obsessed and I want to see them.

3:37 - Ugh. RBD wins. That’s basically the exact opposite outcome I wanted, but judging by the crowd’s reaction when RBD shows up in the studio (i.e. mass hysteria), it might as well be Aventura in the room. I’ll just shut my eyes and pretend that’s the case.

3:42 - Ummm, why are we seeing Zuleyka Rivera a third time? Jaslene Gonzalez could have presented an award herself.

3:44 - Wow, I guess she couldn’t. Who knew Jaslene was totally teleprompter-illiterate?

3:44 - Did Beyonce just say “I’ll pretend I’m Dominican”? It doesn’t really work that way, Miss B.

3:44 - Paulina wins “Chica of the Year” award! She sends her thank you’s from what looks like an all-white hotel room in Miami. We’re frantically scouring the background for any sight of drug paraphernalia or pill bottles, but nothing looks suspicious.

3:46 - Oh, no. Not the “So You Think You Can Act” award again! And Zuleyka, again?!? And Carlos Santos singing and dancing? I really didn’t need to see any of that.

3:51 - After an unusually long commercial break, it’s time for the last award of the night/Saturday afternoon. Here to present the award is Menudo! In freshly overstyled emo-pop clothes and spiky hairdos! Awww.

3:53 - George Lopez wins the “So You Think You Can Act Award.” Even he doesn’t seem to know why.
3:54 - Karli is so over this show and ready to see Wisin y Yandel’s performance, she’s not even making sense anymore.

3:55 - The show wraps with a performance by RBD, but it looks like they get to the stage a little too early. They kill time by tapping their toes and looking forlornly at each other, at the floor, and in various other directions that would indicate a sense of faux-longing.

3:56 - No one is singing live, but everyone looks beautiful. The crowd sings (at least someone is) and waves in approval. I don’t understand how this works so well.

3:58 - I want to change the channel now, but #1 - that would be going against my live-blogging duties, and #2 - there’s something oddly transfixing about their performance. I’m totally creeped out, yet I can’t stop watching. Is this what it feels like to be an RBD fan? [shudders]

3:54 - And that was it, folks. Short, sweet and for the most part nonsensical. But hey, I’d much rather sit here and watch an hour of mindless TV than venture out into the cold. Now, back to my holiday shopping…hasta la próxima!

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