Then comes the shocker: No models for this week’s challenge! (Ask me if I care.) The group is then sent on a field trip where they meet Tiki Barber, the sexy-fine ex-running back for the NY Giants who is now working as a correspondent for NBC (owned by GE, which also owns Bravo). Of course the only person who knew who he was was Kevin, the straight guy. Everyone else just did the fake smile.

The challenge is to design a menswear outfit for Tiki, which has them all freaking out, because they‚re not used to working with men’s silhouettes. At least they got more money this week–$150–and three days. The male models showed up on day two, and it was nice to have some dudes to ogle for a while. And then we came to the best/worst line of the show, courtesy of our buddy Christian: “In came this fabulous Asian woman who was so tan and gorgeous. I love Asian. Asians are fierce.”

Turns out it’s Tiki’s wife, there to give feedback. When they get to Ricky, Tim says, “Ricky doesn’t look good. Ricky looks a little panicky.” True, but at least he’s not crying yet, which is actually disappointing, as I had my bottle all ready.

Left on the runway when the dust cleared:

Ricky’s model walked out in a shoddily-constructed suit, which is no surprise, since he actually had said model sewing on his own buttons. Nina called it boring and asked, “What‚s with the safety pins holding up this jacket?” Tiki was very direct: “You made it sloppy. I could not wear that on air. I would look like a fool. It looked like my five-year-old did it.”

Kit did a navy blazer in fleece, with a more traditional pant and lightly patterned plaid shirt. Tiki was fond: ”I like this look. I like the texture of the shirt. It’s not loud, but it’s there and it’s conservative and it fits my nature.” MK thought the fleece was a great twist that kept it from being boring, and Nina called Kit “fantastic.”

Tiki’s wife said Carmen’s jacket was “reminiscent of a Members Only jacket.” Ouch. It really was bad, and not only did she not finish the shirt, but she sent her model out with a swath of fabric tied around his neck–MK looked truly puzzled. “The crotch on the pants are insane,” he said, and fit “for a Boogie Nights star.” Tiki was worried it would focus attention on his butt, which made Heidi awfully giggly, before she called the outfit “unacceptable.”

Jack did a solid, well-sewed shirt and trouser. I’m all for mixing patterns, but I thought they were too similar to work in a single outfit. The fit was great, as MK pointed out, and Tiki said, “He designed an outfit I could wear tomorrow. This outfit looks great for me.” When Nina pointed out that he only made two pieces, Heidi said she’d rather see two well-made pieces then three wrong ones.

Disgusting is the word that keeps bubbling to the surface when I think about Sweet Pea’s design. The shirt was ridiculous, with short sleeves, an uneven collar and badly puckered sleeves. Heidi said it best when she said, “What I don’t understand is how on earth you can let your model walk down the runway with this mess around the neck.” Tiki told her it was messy. MK was more blunt: “When it first came out, I thought it was intentionally ugly,” he said. “Then I realized, no, this was just gone totally wrong.”

Kevin paired a dark vest with a pink button down and well-constructed pants. Tiki said, “I don’t wear a lot of vests, but I like this vest.” He would wear it with a different shirt, though. Heidi said she’d hate her husband Seal to wear that outfit. “It had a look,” seemed to be the group consensus.

Jack won. I guess that’s why the producers felt it was necessary to throw in a personal detail at the top of the show. Way to be subtle, guys. Though the judges deemed Ricky’s construction and presentation “unacceptable,” Carmen was aufed at the 58 minute mark–just before Ricky began to cry. Kudos to Ricky for staying on the show, but an even louder cheer for keeping me sober tonight.